My way of dealing with pain and frustration is humor. Some people isolate themselves and sink into depression. The 'woe is me' mentality is not for me. Even with my right arm and the numerous surgeries I had to undergo, I laugh at my situation.
I’ve only got one life to live and I’ll be dammed if I’m going to live the rest of it stuck in a rut of depression. Being happy and laughing promotes healing. It also increases your serotonin level and wards off depression.
I thought I’d share a few stories with you that relate to my wonderful nurses.
They gave me pain meds, antibiotics, an anti-nausea pill and a stool softener in the hospital and I continued taking these at home. I hardly ate prior to my surgery and the day before I drank juices and lots of water. Lots and lots of water to hydrate my body. The first day in the hospital I was on IV. The second day I was on IV but they wanted me to start eating. If you are not on a restricted diet, you can call in your order - there is a menu in your room. It's kind of neat actually - room service in a hospital. Around 2:30 in the afternoon I called and ordered a swiss cheese omelette, orange juice, wheat toast, grapes and a cup of coffee. Within a half hour my food arrived. My mom helped me - she cut up my omelette, put cream in my coffee, etc. I ate a few pieces of the omelette and drank my coffee in one large gulp. Everyone who knows me well knows that I am a coffee junkie. If I were asked what 3 things I would take with me if I were deserted on an island, I would want water, coffee and a dictionary. My mom laughed when she saw how quickly I drank the coffee.
I didn't eat much, but it was a start.
That night my cousin Nicole Pappas, Denise and my sister visited me. It was great talking with them. Nikki sent over 3 pizzas. I kept telling Nikki, 'don't send anything, I'm fine, etc.' but it was a great idea because Denise, Nicole and my sister ate some pizza.
After they left I tried to focus on the tv - TCM - an old movie with Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. Joe, the nurse who was on from 7 pm to 3 am, came in to check on me. (All of the nurses and nurse assistants were angels - very compassionate.) I had some 'favorite' nurses and Joe was one of them. He emptied my one drain and asked if I would like to 'try' to empty the other one on my own. I was anxious and told him I was scared. He told me, 'it's okay to be afraid.' As soon as he said that I remembered the shirt I bought Denise when she was a toddler - on the front written in pink letters - It's okay to be afraid. I relayed this to Joe.
I took the top off of the rubber bottle (my JP drain) and felt the pressure ease up. I emptied the liquid in the plastic cup, wiped the opening and top off with an alcohol wipe, squeezed the bottle in my palm to get the air out and topped it. Joe noted how many cc's of liquid and smiled, 'Irene, you did it!'
The pain was incredible that night - worse than the first night.
Joe, kept checking on me. It takes a special kind of person to be a nurse. Not all nurses are compassionate but my nurses were fantastic.
At 3:00 am Joe left and Dien came in. Another 'favorite' nurse. She is 61 years old and came here from Vietnam in her 20's. I truly believe that we are meant to meet certain people in our lives. I was in a great deal of pain and Dien could sense it. I didn't want to bother the nurses because I could hear other women moaning and crying out in pain in the other rooms near mine.
Dien came in and asked me what my pain level was. I told her it was a 7 or 8. She left and came back with a shot of Delaudid that she put in my IV. Delaudid works immediately. You feel a warm sensation that starts at the top of your head and travels through your body. It wiped out my pain instantly.
I felt anxious. I could not relax enough to fall asleep. The next time Dien came in to check on me she found me crying. She sat next to me and talked to me. She told me what happened to me was a blessing. I thought about it for a few seconds and then I understood what she meant. My cancer is a blessing because it has helped me reflect and appreciate the beauty of life. I told her I felt bad for my parents and the pain my cancer has caused them. I told her I am Greek, my parents came here from Greece to make a better life for themselves. Dien told me that she got on a boat when she was 22 along with other Vietnamese refugees. They wound up in Malaysia. She spent a year in a refugee camp. She applied for asylum to the US Consulate and was given same. From Malaysia she wound up in the Philippines and spent a year there learning English. She finally made it to the US at the age of 24. She went to college and became a nurse. She has been working at Bryn Mawr Hospital for the past 32 years.
Dien asked me what, if any, religious faith I followed. I told her I am Greek Orthodox but I don't believe in organized religion. She understood my dislike of organized religion. I told her I'm a very spiritual person in my own way. She mentioned I should focus on something positive to help take my mind off of my pain.
Out of the blue, I heard the song 'Lullaby' playing on the loudspeaker. I asked Dien why that song was playing. The Maternity Ward is next to the wing I was in. Every time a baby is born they play the song Lullaby. I smiled. I told Dien I would focus on that - a new baby coming into the world. During my stay at the hospital I heard Lullaby 8 times! I would wonder, is it a boy or a girl? What name had the parents chosen for their new bundle of joy?
My mom heard the song the next morning. I told her they play Lullaby over the loudspeaker when a baby is born. We both smiled. Life!
Lullaby and the 8 babies that were born helped me to forget about my pain.
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