Fatigue

I went to CVS and finally got my flu shot today. After filling out the forms, I waited for about a half hour until Colleen called my name (the pharmacy technician who administers the shots). I noticed a Pittsburgh Steelers pin on her collar. I told her I am a Cowboys fan. We talked football while she asked me what arm. I told her my left because my right arm is an 'at-risk extremity'. She caught on right away and asked me how I was feeling. I told her I was doing good.

After you get the flu shot they tell you to sit at least 5 or 10 minutes before leaving the store in case you have an adverse reaction to the vaccine. I picked up the Philadelphia Magazine and paged through it to give me something to do while I hung around.

This CVS is always busy. All CVS's are busy but this one and the one in Havertown are non-stop.

Colleen gave a little old lady a few seats away from me the shingles vaccine.

Next was an incredibly rude bimbo who kept huffing and puffing the whole time she waited. She kept getting up and asking, "do I have to wait much longer?"... and ... "I have to be somewhere in half an hour." It took a lot of patience for me not to say anything every time she would bounce up and start pacing.

We all have to be somewhere.

When Colleen rolled up her sleeve, the bimbo asked, "will it hurt?"

Can you imagine?!

Will it hurt. Try having your breast removed to see what your up against and if that hurts. Severe pain so disabling and so powerful that it imprisons you in your bed, hopeless and depressed. Pain so intense that you hallucinate.

I couldn't help myself. I looked at Colleen's eyes and started laughing. I mean I busted a gut! Then Colleen started laughing, then the little old lady with the shingles shot, and before I could catch my breath some of the people waiting in line started to laugh with us.

The only person who didn't laugh was the bimbo. She didn't even wait to make sure she didn't have an adverse reaction.

She had to be somewhere!

Today must have been an I'm-in-a-hurry day for a lot of people. As I was driving out of the shopping center some asshole almost hit me. He came barreling around the CVS toward the Citizens Bank drive-thru lane. I slowed down. This idiot slammed on his brakes (it was raining all day) and almost hit me on my driver side. I just looked at this guy and started laughing. He looked at me as if I was crazy.

I have a pillow between the seat belt and my chest. Not just because the belt hurts but to protect myself from aggressive drivers like this moron.

Next I went to pick up a pizza for my parents from Italian Delight. While I waited, I checked my messages. I called my cousin George back in Florida. We spent 15 minutes reminiscing about our grandmother and grandfather and laughing. My grandfather would always cheat when I would play cards with him! To get under my grandmother's skin he would say to her, "Mariooooo, your children don't love you." I really miss my grandparents, but I have photographs and memories to keep them with me at all times.

When I finally got home, fatigue set in.

Fatigue is one of the side effects I have had to deal with starting a couple of months before I even knew I had cancer and now while my body is healing from the surgery. Fatigue is very different from the way you get tired from performing your job. When you're tired, you get some sleep, and the next day you feel better.

Fatigue feels like a total lack of energy, a weakness in your whole body. You don't feel normal, you don't feel good.

Your body is working overtime to handle the effects of surgery and treatment, and run basic body functions such as walking and eating. Your body needs to conserve its precious energy for this work and shut down other activities that aren't absolutely necessary. The result is fatigue ...

The body takes time to heal. I have to keep reminding myself that this too shall pass.