When I got to work and logged onto my computer, I started crying. I don't know why, but it ended when Nikki called me up to mention she would be a few minutes late.
My mom cried a lot this morning. She kept holding it inside and finally she just let it out. I hugged her and cried. Nothing like a good crying spell between mother & daughter to start off the day depressed.
I told my mom it's okay to cry. It's okay to be afraid. These are normal emotions considering the circumstances.
It's a double whammy for my mom. She is dealing with my cancer and with my sister and her family being far away ... She misses Maria, John & the kids. I do too.
I can see the pain in my mother's eyes.
An individual doesn't get cancer, a family does. - Terry Tempest Williams
I wrote this recently to an aunt who I haven't seen in years. I'm almost certain she understood this quote - her mother battled breast cancer and had a double mastectomy.
This picture was taken last Wednesday. A picture worth a thousand words! George and I are very close and I love him dearly.
Tomorrow night Julia and little George will stop by to visit as they do every week.
Last Wednesday when they came over Julia brought Cocoa, their guinea pig. I watched Cocoa at my house while Julia visited her parents with George in Crimea. She brought me a neat ship w/six little drinking cups as a gift from Russia. A 'drinking' gift of course!
I was touched by the fact that she brought Cocoa so that I could see him. I really got attached to him while they were gone.
George reminds me so much of my nephew. I took him to his karate lesson the week before they left for their vacation.
I'm looking forward to seeing them tomorrow. George and I play a game with paper planes, docks and boats in Maria's dining room. Oh how he smiles, and when he smiles I smile. Children bring out the best in us ...
Every morning I recite a beautiful quote, which has become my mantra. It helps me deal with the pain the fear, etc.
"Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my hardship, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself." - Walter Anderson
Tomorrow I will meet my nurse navigator, my cancer buddy, and Janice, another patient battling breast cancer. We will have our pre-op training at the Comprehensive Breast Center.
I will then go to work and meet Professor Anne Preston (Economics Dept.) whose office is in the same building that I work in (Stokes). She had a double mastectomy. It's good to talk to breast cancer survivors.
Then I will try and get as much work done as possible. I have to leave at 1:45 for the last of my two tests before my surgery: a physical and an EKG.
7 days left ...
No comments:
Post a Comment