Waiting is the rust of the soul. If I seem fretful it's because I am hoping for a change in my career. I need to go out and binge. I feel like those people who fall off a tree and never quite reach the ground. (I am thinking of a viper, with no creed and no conscience). It's like being trapped in a walking corpse, a corpse that's hungry and refuses to die.
Then there are those who want to die ... Of all the famous people who took their own life, I think the most interesting suicide was that of George Sanders. He was a brilliant Russian-born English film actor (my favorite role of his was Addison DeWitt in All About Eve with Bette Davis). An incredible movie. He was 65 year's old when he checked into a hotel in Castelldefels, a coastal town near Barcelona. He was found dead 2 days later, having taken 5 bottles of Nembutal (the drug of choice for actors at that time). He left behind a suicide note which read: "Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck."
Cesspool - a filthy receptacle or place; any place of moral filth or immorality: a cesspool of iniquity! It's not funny, but I can almost hear his heavy English accent and baritone voice as he washed down his pills with alcohol. He had a very interesting and full life, and was the consummate artist. Not only was he a great actor - he was also a singer-songwriter, music composer, and author.
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