Oh Woe is Me

A cousin left me a message on my cell phone. His long, winded message:

"I got the flu shot a few days ago, I'm feeling so sick, I feel so depressed, my joints ache, my diverticulitis is acting up, my stomach hurts, I saw my psychiatrist yesterday, it was really intense, I have a couple of doctor appointments next week, can I stop by and visit you tomorrow night ..."

I don't appreciate messages loaded with 'me, myself and my trials and tribulations' ... Ask me how things are going. Breathe while you're spewing off about your 'aches and pains'.

I cherish the times when my family and friends visit me. Those visits give me courage, motivation, strength, and brighten my life. But to spend time with someone who is always 'sick' is too much for me. It's exhausting. This is someone who has no serious disability that prevents him from working (he hasn't worked in over 15 years). Must be nice sitting around the house all day drinking and watching soap operas. I love him big time - he has a great heart, but I tire very easily.

An old friend, Tina, stopped by a few weeks after my surgery and she made me laugh when she described what she had been through the last two years. She asked me how I was feeling and wished me well. We remembered the 'olden days' when we were young, healthy and carefree. We laughed a lot.

Some friends who didn't feel comfortable seeing me in person, called me. I got several short calls from people and they all made me feel better.

Rhoda has sent me a card every week. In her most recent card she described a series of who-done-it mystery books that she completed reading. After her neighbor finishes reading these three books she will loan them to me. We're always loaning books to each other. Rhoda even reminded me to vote - "Dems of course!" (we're die-hard Democrats.) It's great opening up a card to find it filled with caring thoughts, mini book reviews and a reminder to vote.

I received quite a few emails as well. I loved the emails I got that expressed interest in my health but touched on broader issues. And every day I received text messages.

People recuperating from surgery still like to get out and they still eat. My lunch dates with Nicole, Janice and Betty were so much fun.

I also enjoyed the aroma of fresh coffee when I met Nicole at Starbuck's. It was a gorgeous day and we sat outside enjoying our coffee-talk.

I received many flowers and chocolates with 'get well soon' notes, and a fruit basket, which were a cheerful surprise when I was at my worst. I still have the cacti, succulents and orchids, and they make me smile and think of my wonderful friends and relatives every time I see them.

I especially appreciate the people who act normal, who don't act like I am broken, who try for as much normalcy as they can muster.

I will eventually get together with my 'sick' cousin. For now, I have to save my energy.