She craves attention because she is large, yes, she is big. I am mocking her size (I am not thin, but then again I am not incredibly obese). Yes, she is obese, but it has taken me some time to finally realize how 'small' this person really is. She is full of contradictions and is infected with misery. Her attachment to her isolated existence is a manifestation of her fear of happiness. Unfortunately, 'unhappy' in this person's life has virtue attached to it. Failed relationships, multiple breakdowns, suicide attempts - it is not happiness that she should crave, but the pursuit of it. The chase is the aim.
The King James version of the Bible appeared in the same year as the first advertised performance of The Tempest. This is what I tell people who feel the need to tell me how 'good' so-and-so is ... Please - give me a break! Didn't you attempt to kill yourself because of this crass individual! (See The Façade.) Married, divorced, and then remarried to the same man again (part of the working-class men who want their women at home) - by your own admission 'for financial reasons' ... There is nothing wrong with marrying your ex again, but don't bitch non-stop about how he makes you sick. You're tired of his bullshit. You were tired when you were married to him the first time around, what made you think things would be different the second time?
Happiness is not a luxury, or an option, or for a select few people in this world. Happiness is a state of mind. Get the hell out of the house and do something! It isn’t a hiding place. It is a finding place. Break out of the predictable confines of your existence - rid yourself of "oughts" and "musts" and "shoulds" - live everyday as if it will be your last. Doing the same things every day, repeating the same routines day after day, worrying about the future (that isn't here yet), etc. is not going to make you feel better.
I know what it feels like to be depressed. It prevents you from enjoying and living your life to the fullest, it affects your mood, enthusiasm - you miss out on the sun, the moon, the stars, the sky, etc. Please don't make excuses. It is what it is. It shouldn't take you a whole weekend to wash two dishes ... it was Friday when you mentioned your cousin passed away (not Wednesday). Losing all sense of time (not knowing what day it is) ...
It helps to look at depression as a gift because it forces you to work on yourself ...
No comments:
Post a Comment