Saturday, January 28, 2012

Dark Night

I'm just part of a whole slew of people for whom simple existence is fraught with intense misery. I'm feeling down. I've been depressed for the past couple of weeks and I don't know what to do to get myself out of this state. Why am I so depressed?

Loss leads to grief, and grief causes me to feel numb. A terrible numbness ... Through that numbness there are a myriad of ways that past moments bleed through to the present. I will try to describe those moments with a sense of humor. Some of my comments will be highly exagerated for comic effect.

I feel as though I am being pushed and pulled at the same time. Can you relate? It's dark and it's cold. The weather matches my mood. It's depressing as hell outside.

"In a real dark night of the soul, it is always three o’clock in the morning, day after day." (F. Scott Fitzgerald)

Sometimes I wish I was a little kid again ... skinned knees are easier to fix. Unfortunately, this is one of those times where no one can kiss it and make it all better.

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