Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Fatigue, Depression & Anxiety

I experienced fatigue - extreme fatigue - a couple of months before I was diagnosed with breast cancer. More than the tiredness caused by everyday life stresses.

I still feel tired all the time.

Cancer-related fatigue is a constant feeling of physical or mental exhaustion that makes it hard to function and doesn’t improve with rest. Many factors can cause it, including the cancer itself, the treatment or emotional stress. My doctors have been evaluating my fatigue throughout treatment and recovery, to watch for changes and give advice.

My fatigue now is caused by anxiety - the fear of getting cancer again. How do I cope? Three or four times a week my sister and I go to Planet Fitness after work and walk for an hour. It also helps me deal with pain in my joints, a side-effect of the Arimidex.

Depression is something that all cancer patients experience. Ongoing sadness and lack of interest in doing things that usually bring you pleasure, making it hard to keep up with your daily routine. 

Anxiety makes you feel nervous, worried or overwhelmed. While you might expect anxiety after a cancer diagnosis, the condition may need attention if it continues for a long time.

Depression and anxiety are tied closely together. 

I am sure my aunt will experience these feelings. As long as they don't linger long after treatment she should be okay.  


Theia Lela

My Theia Lela had a L breast mastectomy. They removed one lymph node also. We saw her briefly in the recovery room. The surgery went well according to Dr. Brown. She will be transferred to a room, and hopefully she will be released tomorrow.

We're in Somers Point at the house and will go back to the hospital tonight.

My Uncle George is holding up as well as can be expected.

It seems surreal ... a year ago, I had my surgery.

"When an individual gets cancer, the whole family gets cancer." So true.

I feel bad for my cousin Nick. He lost his first wife to cancer and now his mom is battling this dreadful disease.

My aunt is pretty strong. If anyone can pull through, it's my aunt.

Tuesday, September 8, 2015

Sep. 8th - a date that changed my life forever

A year ago today, I found out I had Stage 1A breast cancer. I have never missed my annual mammograms. I am alive because of my yearly screenings.

For those of you that put off having a mammogram:

According to the National Cancer Data Base, when breast cancer is detected and treated at Stage I, about 95 percent of the patients survive five years or more. The five-year survival rate drops to 90 percent for Stage II, 65 percent for Stage III, and 20 percent for Stage IV.

If you believe screenings are not important, think again. Your life may depend on it.

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

One year ago ...

On September 3, 2014, I had a second mammogram and an ultrasound. My first mammogram, taken on August 30th, showed s suspicious lesion. I didn't think anything of it ... just a precaution. I had just turned 50 and had celebrated that milestone with my family.

When the xray technician took me into a private room and told me I needed to see a surgeon, I again didn't think much about it.

The following day, September 4th, I saw Dr. Frazier who examined me along with Dr. Lloyd. It was at that point I knew something was wrong. I had a needle core biopsy that Friday. Dr. Frazier called me on Monday, September 8th, and told me my tumor was cancerous.

There is no word that evokes more emotion than the dreaded six-letter 'C' word - cancer.

It is so feared that for many years it could only be whispered, not spoken aloud, as if saying 'She has CANCER' meant you could catch it, or worse, that she would not survive.

Much has changed, but the C word still packs quite a serious punch, especially if it is directed at you. I am not going to tell you that it didn’t shake me up. It shook me to the core. I felt as if someone had punched me in the stomach and I couldn't catch my breath.

I learned the turbulent power of the C word. Cancer changes your world in virtually every way imaginable, and in ways that are like your worst nightmare. 

I learned that doctors don’t always know everything and certainly don’t have all the answers, but what many of them lack in absolute certainty they make up for in compassion and caring. I learned that nurses are the unsung rock stars, and that when your mind and body are completely exhausted, you still have the ability to give a little more when you need to. And I have learned that when cancer wins, you have two choices. You can give up and give in to grief and self pity and fear, or you can get yourself together and find the lessons in your experience.

After a couple of months of living in a fog of grief and fear over what might happen to me after my mastectomy, I decided to stop being another victim of the C word. I looked that word straight in the eye, and it taught me some amazing things. I have learned to have courage, beyond what I ever thought I was capable of. In fact, I have learned that I am capable of many things I never thought possible.

I have learned to be compassionate, because everyone is fighting some sort of battle in their lives. I have experienced an incredible gift of clarity and a new commitment to life, learning to embrace every moment and every person in my life.

Many new doors have opened, and I am grateful that I have been able to step through every one. My job has enabled me to embrace more C words, like communication, critical thinking, and collaboration, as we work to make Haverford College an even better school for our students. I have met many students who come in to the Business Department with concerns and questions.

My experience with cancer, despite the pain I endured, has been an incredible life-changing lesson about growth, persistence, strength, and endurance. Cancer has taught me how to rise up again, let go of what doesn’t matter, live in the moment, and cherish those I love. It has taught me how to open my heart, how to trust my journey, and to live life with fierce enthusiasm and grace.

September 8th - the day I found out I had a cancerous tumor in my left breast - is the Virgin Mary's birthday. My mom will go to church and light a candle on the 8th. The number 8 is my favorite number. Coincidence? Maybe.

Those of us whose lives are touched by cancer in some way may never be the same. I believe we can be better, wiser, and kinder, all because of what we learned in the fight against cancer.

I am preparing myself for my first year anniversary after my surgery (September 23rd). I will celebrate one year cancer free. I'm a survivor and it feels great to be alive!